Quarter-Life Breakthrough

Well, well. Here we are. A post about a quarter life crisis. Never thought I would have written one of these. Let alone, I have never known anyone to have such a crisis. It is interesting to note that by this time you would think that I would have everything figured out. But in reality, nobody really knows what will happen in their life because nothing ever goes according to plan. We can get fired from our job, or we can get promoted to a senior position. We can fall in love, or  we can break up with the love of our life. Truth is, nothing ever goes as planned. I am still coming to terms with that lesson, and I feel it is starting to sink in.

From as early as I remember, I was taught that you can achieve your deepest desire if you worked extra hard for it. That was the plan for anything you wanted in life. If you worked harder than the next person, then you will receive the reward. That worked with everything you did. You study hard, then you get good grades. You do your chores, then you get your allowance. There was a cause, and an effect. Now you have graduated college and in the real world, and guess what? Everyone works hard and everyone wants what you want. Why do you deserve it? You expect things to happen because you think you deserve them and are disappointed when they don't work out. This was a harsh lesson in reality that was dished out to me this past year.

Regardless of how depressing that sounds, this may have been the best birthday present I received on my 25th birthday (other than my parents coming to Columbus. Love you Mom and Dad!). These are the four steps to breaking through the quarter life crisis. This crisis was the best thing to happen to me, and it will be the best thing to happen to you.

1. Gratitude

My last twenty five years have seen some ups and downs. Some things happened that I am extremely proud of, and some things happened that I would like to forget. But the fact remains that this is a "choose your own adventure" story. You make the tough decisions and you pay the consequences for those decisions. 

I am grateful for everything that has happened to me. I am thankful for every success and every failure because that means I am trying. I am trying to reach that next step towards my goal. Trying to be a better person and learning from my mistakes. Be grateful where you are in life. Your motto should be, "Who wouldn't want to be in my position?"  

I am thankful for my great friends here in Columbus, my parents in Colorado, my sister in Washington, and their major impact on my life. I am thankful I am working in soccer, the sport of which I am so passionate. I am thankful I am able to coach and be an influence in many players' soccer careers. Who wouldn't want to be in my position? That's how you have to think about your life, and that is how I always look to improve. 

2. What Got You Here Won't Get You There

Think about how you got to this point in your life. What major decisions have you made? What did other people see in you that made them help you get to where you are? You may still have those traits, but it may not help you land the next promotion, or your dream house, or the perfect relationship. Think about the strong qualities you possess. These are the qualities that attract you to other people. Now, what are your weakest traits? If you are not sure, ask those close to you. Asking other people will give you a different angle on your life that you may have never have thought about before.

Now, what are your plans in the next year? In the next five years? In the next ten? I understand, not everybody can plan that far ahead. I bet some of you can't even plan past lunch. But it is something to think about. If you know your end goal, you can figure out the steps you must take to make it happen. Keeping your strong traits sharp while improving your weak ones will set yourself up to get to your final product. 

3. Fear Is Often Disguised As Practicality

What do you truly want? This is the part where you list off your heart's deepest desires. The things you want most in life that you would do anything for. Now don't think for one second that those dreams are out of reach. That is one mistake I tend to make. I used to think about my goals and say to myself, "How likely is that going to happen?" I have been told that my plans or ideas are merely dreams that may not happen. I, for one, do not like being told my dreams are impossible. I say dare to dream. The moment you start thinking about taking the safe option, you are not living life anymore and you have given up. This is your life, and it is a short one. Why waste it working at a job you hate? Why waste it being around negative people? Why waste your life not pursuing your dreams? 

What if you do reach your dream? How do you think that will make you feel? When you look back at your life, you will be so proud of yourself and what you have done. Don't be afraid to go on that high speed chase for your dreams.

4. "The Phoenix Must Burn To Emerge" - Janet Fitch

Failing is an important part of your journey. Without failure, I would have never learned the harsh but important lessons that have brought me to where I am. 

That being said, I am no millionaire. I have not created anything bigger than myself (yet). And I have not climbed the career ladder all the way to the top. I live in a one bedroom apartment in Columbus living paycheck to paycheck. But I am doing what I love and I am happy. I know where my life is going.

I moved to Columbus for a youth development internship for a professional soccer club. This was my dream, and I was beginning to realize it at the age of 23. This was the next step in my pursuit of happiness. It has turned out to be the best choice I have made and the best experience of my life. Not only am I working with a professional soccer club learning how the youth club operates within the organization, I am coaching which gives me a completely different outlook on the sport (I know, I have said that I coach soccer so many times. Just want to make sure you have not forgotten). Everything that has happened to me has been a blessing. 

Did I move here for this particular experience alone? Of course I did. However, I did not know the type of experience I would receive as I never knew what was coming up next. It was always exciting and I have been looking forward to every day I get to work with the club.

Maybe you are in the same position as I was trying to figure out where to go with your career. Or maybe you are in your 20's and going through a similar life crisis. The main lesson I want to give to you is something I learned while looking back on my time here in Columbus and how I got here. I was not afraid to fail. You can not be afraid either. Failure is a big part of the step-by-step process they don't tell you. It's the way you deal with failure that makes you the way you are. Every mistake I have made, I have learned a lesson. A lesson that I carry with me every day to ensure I don't make the same mistake twice. Without failure, you are delaying your journey to success. Don't be afraid to fail, for you will be grateful for it. 

Have I accomplished my dream yet? Some would say so, but there are different parts that I am still working on. It is all still a work in progress. My point that I want to get across is this: 

• Be grateful you have made it this far with the adversities you have had to overcome.
• Look back on how you got to this point, and improve those qualities that will help you get "there." 
• Never be afraid to take that next step.  Life is too short.
• Fail. Fail again and again. When you give yourself permission to fail, you are also giving yourself permission to succeed. 

If you do these four things, you will break out of the so-called "crisis" and start your new beginning. The Quarter Life Breakthrough, if you will. Now go on, make yourself proud!